There are many aspects of marriage that can be difficult to tackle. One of the most common struggles people face is the fear of intimacy-a refusal to share the most sensitive parts of themselves with their spouse
What is Intimacy?
This is a question that has been answered in different ways by different people. Some psychologists say that fear of intimacy in marriage can extend past the bedroom, while others say that this fear may only affect the bedroom. Some spouses are scared to get too emotionally close with their partner for fear of being rejected. Others are afraid to have sex with their spouse because they think it will be the only time they'll ever have sex, or are afraid their spouse will push them away after one time.
In the words of What is intimacy?, Dr. Thomas F. Cash, a writer and psychologist in Dallas, Texas, states that intimacy in a marriage extends beyond the bedroom. Several people have commented on how far their fear of intimacy reaches in a marriage.
I don't want to be my wife's friend, one man confessed. She has plenty of girlfriends.
Fearful Couple
Fearful Couple is a topic often talked about when it comes to the dynamics of marriage. A common fear when it comes to intimate moments is that one partner may not be able to find pleasure in these moments. The fear can stem from a lack of intimacy, a lack of attraction, or a painful past. Fearful couples are where intimacy has become an issue and they have been unable to work through it with their spouse.
Intimacy in Marriage: The Giving and Receiving
There are a lot of symptoms that can occur in a marriage because people are afraid of getting close to one another. Some symptoms may include, not being able to sleep without someone next to them, or feeling uncomfortable when the person is out of their sight. Relationships grow stronger as they develop and as couples share themselves with each other. In order for relationships to grow stronger it is important that both parties have open discussions and try to find a happy medium.
The Root Causes of Fear of Intimacy
There are two main causes of fear of intimacy in marriage. The first is because people are afraid of being hurt. People worry that they are not good enough for their partners. If they are not careful this fear of not being good enough can keep them from doing the things they need to do in order to make their relationship better.
The second cause of fear of intimacy is because people are afraid of being rejected. It is very difficult for a person to admit that they are not perfect and that they do not have everything right. This fear of rejection is an internal barrier that prevents people from being honest and vulnerable in their relationship. People who are not in relationships are more likely to have these fears of rejection. They are more likely to have these fears in the first place and more likely to act them out in their relationships. This is because they are not in relationships where they can be rejected or hurt.
Why it’s Important to Face Fear of Rejection
As a therapist, I urge my clients to face fears. Not only is this a healthy thing to do, but it is also essential to any good therapy. It is a way to gain a better understanding of what has been going on in their life. When someone is afraid of rejection, they are afraid that no one is going to like them. If no one is going to like them, then what is the point of being with them?
So, for example, let’s say there is an old boyfriend or girlfriend. In order to get a better understanding of why this person makes you feel this way, you have to shed the old skin and peel back the layers of insecurity.
Fear of intimacy in marriage is more than just a sexual issue
It is also the precursor for many issues, including domestic violence. Therapist Dr. Amy Beninato, who works with clients with sex issues at the New York-based Center for Sexuality and Health, said that many people experience intimacy issues earlier on in their marriage. Before you’re married, you get to know each other, you have to open up and make yourself vulnerable, she said. You can’t be a virgin forever.
The root of intimacy issues stems from early abuse, she said, such as rape, physical abuse, or emotional trauma. “These early experiences leave you with a fear of intimacy,” Dr. Beninato said.
Intimacy Issues And Sex
How do you know if you’re having an intimacy issue? You should feel comfortable enough to share your emotions and fears with your spouse, Dr. Beninato said. “You should be able to be open and ask for what you want,” she said.
She noted that intimacy issues often crop up in a relationship because a couple is in a different stage in life, such as careers, finances, or children.
Fear of intimacy can lead to other marital problems
Such as sexual intimacy issues. Intimacy is about being close and being connected, Dr. Beninato said. It’s about knowing your spouse, feeling safe and secure with them.
If your fear of intimacy has led to a sexual intimacy issue, it’s OK to talk about it, she said. You can even talk about your experience with a sex therapist. “We can help you work through it,” she said.
Dr. Beninato said there are many different types of intimacy issues. Some couples have difficulties with emotional intimacy. Others struggle with sensual intimacy, which may include kissing or touching.
If you are fearful of intimacy in marriage, it might be time to talk to your spouse about it, she said. We can help them understand what you’re going through,” she said. Many couples don’t know they have intimacy issues.
Even if you and your mate have been together for years, it’s not too late. Dr. Beninato said that couples who have been together for years can develop intimacy issues. “What makes a good marriage is not just sex,” she said. “It’s two people who are emotionally intimate. If you have intimacy issues, that will definitely affect your relationship. read here if your relationship is being reuined
Conclusion
When the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over, it can be tough to keep the spark alive. This is especially true when you're left with the reality that you're living with this person for the rest of your life. When couples are struggling to keep intimacy alive in their marriage, it's not uncommon for them to stop kissing or holding hands.
You may even notice some people completely avoid physical contact altogether. In fact, the National Marriage Project published a study in 2013 that found that in the ten years leading up to marriage, couples were 40% less likely to hold hands and 50% less likely to kiss. In the ten years following marriage, that number grew to 60% less likely to hold hands and 80% less likely to kiss.
But bonding is essential to a healthy marriage. If you want to keep your marriage alive, you'll need to keep your physical relationship alive.
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